Finding the secrets that everyone holds

I have had the best weekend!

I can't explain why. It sounds mediocre, nothing special. But yet I feel like I've achieved something. Maybe just having a proper social life again, and making sure I don't end up like Sue, mid-thirties or later and regretting not having lived my life up to that point.

Friday Night: I went to a 40th at Sportsman Bar, got dressed up in fishnets, waistcoat, tie, short skirt and boots (it was a drag party). I must admit my ego was a little boosted by the attention I got, and I enjoyed flirting and playing it up for an audience, but my skin crawled when they leered, and if they touched me for no real reason. One young woman felt it necessary to place a hand on my bared waist when she yelled over the music. Not subtly, not a friendly gesture. Just a baby-dyke sleaze kind of move. I smiled politely, plied her hand from my hip, holding her wrist between thumb and forefinger like it was a dead cockroach, and gave it back to her.

But I talked to some interesting characters, and watched a strip show by a boy in drag. And of course danced. I also tried a Jagerbomb for the first time. Not bad, I must admit. But I'm rather glad someone paid for me. I went home rather late, but surprisingly wasn't too tired at work.

Saturday Night: 30th party this time, at a house in Mt Gravatt. I was too lazy to get really dressed up. They had a professional DJ, who I ended up chatting to about the difference between technoclash, psytrance/house, acid house and electro. I tried a couple of puffs of a joint that was being passed around. I don't smoke, so I didn't inhale it properly... otherwise I would've coughed and spluttered like an amateur. I got ash up my nose though. Ergh. My head was spinning for about 15 mins, but that was it. Rather anti-climatic.

Sue's friend Dino drove the three of us to Scarlett, the all-girls event in Spring Hill every month. That was fun. I started people-watching when the other girls found some friends. But then a girl came over, and introduced herself and her friends, and I ended up with a 3 or 4 new drinking buddies. I danced with Sue, and some of her mates, and found Kel (my cousin) to dance at one point, and just had a great time bouncing off different characters on the dancefloor. Instead of going home at 1am... like I usually do... and probably should've that night, we ended up staying until about 2.

Shaz and Jodie drove us back to my car at the houseparty, where the majority of people had already gone home. I said my goodbyes and Sue walked me to the car. Despite my wariness of her, she had chilled out a lot since she got lucky at a club the other night, and we talked until about 5am. By that time, everyone was dead at the party, so I drove Sue home.

I'd forgotten how fantastic it was to drive home as the sun rises. It feels so liberating, and so eerie and gives you a new perspective on the normal journey you make everyday. For some reason, spending all night out partying makes me feel so good about myself.

I got home at 5.30... Four hours sleep and then work.

Sunday Night: I was a little tired, and had a nap after work. Met up with Sue, Shaz, Jodie and Sammy (a woman who had been hitting on me all Friday. A creepy player with no respect for women). Shaz and Sammy were high as kites, and poor Jodie was ready to go home by 10pm. I got beer spilled in my hair and over my face (the most gross thing: beer in the eye. Not cool) but luckily I washed it out enough not to smell it. Laughed at a gay man who thought I was a supplier that they had been waiting for to get their pills. Surprisingly Sammy had enough respect for me this time around, and didn't even attempt to be sleazy. Both Sue and I were in tears laughing at Shaz and her going nuts and making the most stupid jokes.

We then tried to go to a strip place called The Velvet Cigar. According to the opening hours on the door, it should've been open. But the doors were firmly locked. So we headed to Love and Rockets, which was rather plush, but the strippers were not all that intelligent. I had a D&M with Jodie about butch/femme dynamic and attraction, and her experiences with ecstasy before I realised the time (1am) and had to get home for work the next day.

So yes... my weekend in a nutshell. I wanna do it over again. Hopefully this weekend will be just as eventful.

Blurted at 16:24 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
updates, craziness

I heart LoLsbians:

http://community.livejournal.com/lolsbians/9566.html#cutid1

Blurted at 15:12 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?

When I was with you

Even my words danced with joy, painting art with every syllable

Blurted at 00:55 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
emotional crap

Why do we keep doing this? Going around and around in circles... hurting one another with how crap we are feeling apart. My solution? Don't be apart. You solution: somehow be magically happy and content with being this way. We can't live like this.

I'm exhausted of the solutions you have told me... They are all too late now. Even if I somehow miraculously change into whatever you wish, and do everything henceforth perfectly, will that change your view of me? The damage is done, the doors to that avenue are closed. Yes, I've done some stupid fucked up things, so you either have to live with that as your reason, and don't let yourself be close to me, or you forgive me, and we move forward together. How about it?

I didn't think so....

No option is easy.

Blurted at 18:14 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
emotional crap

Strange and wonderful things I have done

I guess in finding out all these things that I want to do, I've felt a little inexperienced.... but then I realise that I've done things that some people would have never experienced.

I have:

Travelled most of Asia, and eaten with locals

Tried sashimi and salmon roe

Waded through mudflats in search of mud mussels and telescope shells and eaten them straight from the fire

Seen sunset after gorgeous sunset on the beaches of Darwin

Fallen in love

Slept in the bed of a stranger (no sexual connotations)

Gone out clubbing alone

Dressed in costume for no reason at all, other than enjoying myself

Watched another couple have sex

Gone swimming in the ocean at 10pm

Attempted a Beer Century... but didn't complete it

Given a lap dance

Sneaked out of the house to go to a party at 16, where I first tried alcohol.

Done martial arts classes - green belt blue tip so far

Seen the Christmas lights in Singapore

Been offered money for sex... or less (which I didn't take up btw)

Had a threesome

Own a corset

Had many friends who were Aboriginal or part-Aboriginal

Been the smarty-pants who competes to finish a Maths problem first

Lived in a university college (all girls)

Come out

Kissed a boy my friend had a crush on

Written erotic stories

Organised a romantic treasure trail for a girlfriend

Stayed in a home in Japan

Kissed in the rain

Got lost in a strange city

Had a ride in a hot air balloon

Spoke another language to a foreigner

Ridden on the largest indoor triple loop rollercoaster in the world

Been on a rollercoaster made entirely of wood

Turned up at someone's work unexpected, to give them a flower

Pole danced

Caught in the cold, with ice forming on the passing buses

Seen snow, and had a snowball fight

Been through the Rocky Mountains

Seen an elk walking down the middle of a street

Met someone from the internet

Had sex in a public place/outdoors

Broken someone's heart

Had a one-night stand

Not had a shower for 5 days (on a camp, not by choice)

Been drunk at home by myself

Burnt a barbie doll

Cried until my eyes were bloodshot, and my skin blotchy

Seen someone have a grand mal seizure and an absence seizure (epilepsy)

Caught and filletted fish (caught a turtle and a shovel-nosed shark)

Done Ballroom dancing

Learnt piano (and gave up)

Learnt first aid

Attended an exorcism

Been indoor skydiving

Tried kava

Stomped grapes

Played netball

Won money in Las Vegas

Lost money in Las Vegas

Published a piece of writing for official circulation

Been to a live sex venue

Collected stamps

Collect badges

Collect knives

Punched someone in the nose

Been to a counsellor

Caught naked by a friend

Kissed someone within 30 seconds of meeting them

Completed a degree

Been in an open relationship

Accussed of being in a satanic cult

Seen a true Zen garden

Been blessed by a Buddhist monk

Trekked to the remote villages in Thailand

Ridden on an elephant - and on it's head

Flashed someone

I'm sure there's more... feel free to add some if you can think of anything I've missed.

Blurted at 18:36 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
updates, craziness