Finding the secrets that everyone holds

Well I'm back at uni. Parents went to Darwin. I did not.

I have a new computer after mine broke. The motherboard fried. Like ssssss..... Grrr. Stupid fans and breaking. This is why I haven't updated in a while.


Well that and I've felt terribly selfish and bitchy and insecure for no particular reason. Mainly because I hate being laughed at, I hate that I blush and wear my heart on my sleeve, I hate that despite people hurting me I still care about them and their opinions and feel like i should defend their actions, I hate the crutches I have used recently when I get dangerously emotional, because they in themselves are frightening close to risking my life, and that I might be doing them only to gain some attention and pathetic sympathy for a shitty little things that annoy me. I hate that all the things that have frustrated me and made me bitchy of late have been insignificant, and should not affect me like they do. I hate the fact that I have become cold and stoney towards those I want to open up to most, I hate the people I love for being so far away that I feel like I can't call them and tell them these petty obsessions, I hate myself at the moment because I can't seem to spend enough time with those I should spend time with, and the people I want to be with never have time for me.

I hate that people think they know me, and all my thoughts, just because I have told them all the bad things in my life. My trust is given when I tell you all the wonderful things.

And heres a big 'fuck you' to all the excuses given for the inexcusable and unforgiveable. It wasn't like I didn't give you a chance. You had all the time in the world to work it out, and talk with me. Now its gone, so live with it.


So much hate... I just can't get rid of it.

Blurted at 09:45 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
updates, uni, craziness, emotional crap

Grrrarh!

Quick update before I go back to licking my wounds (shut up all those with dirty inappropriate puns)

Straight sixes for uni (again shut up with the puns) And damn happy about it. Despite all distractions I managed a good mark. Yahoo.

Went to the Gold coast for a week. Hot Air Ballooning, Dracula's and cold beaches, and awesome markets with artwork for my new room. Did I mention my parents are building a house?

Lab work is looking good. Interesting results today. Yay for results that actually work... And lumpy gels. Which was not so good :S ...


Anyway... thats all I can think of.

Night

Blurted at 20:38 | Chain and tie me | comments anyone?
updates, uni